Thursday, April 28, 2011

Push death into them!

Yes. Recently finished a long, domination, coop campaign with a friend in Shogun 2. It took ... a month? I wasn't counting, and we didn't play it all the time. Still, it was an interesting experience with many frustrating and hilarious moments such as:

- Friend fighting 3 different enemies at the same time all in one province, and having his capital ninjaed by another enemy
- Outnumbered in battles, but kiting the AI with cavalry to reduce focus
- Me at certain points generating enough income for both of us
- Building armies worthy of Mordor
- Synchronisation bugs and errors
- Friend having a 65 year old max rank ninja killing everything
- Me bribing an entire enemy army with an army of metsukes and 40000 koku
- Spreading Buddhism over Christianity via means of extermination
- One of my highest ranked generals drowning
- Taking towns of 60 men with armies of ... well over 9000, honestly
- Two asshole armies sitting in a bush trying to ambush us for like 5 years
- Getting harassed continuously by pirates
- Not building a single rocket soldier or siege machine as Hojo
- Assaulting and taking Kyoto with horses



I probably wouldn't do it again for awhile, and if I did it would have to be in a different Total War game. We shall see...

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sanity is for the weak

Anyone that knows or has met me will notice that, over time, I will say a lot of stupid and confusing shit that may or may not make sense to them. Some of these are of the greeting variety, used primarily to initiate conversation. Others may refer to maladies or genetic disadvantages possessed by the person in question, primarily involving their face. Probably the most dominant, however, are those that involve some exclamation of someone or something getting pwned. In this post I will explain the origins and reasoning behind the usage of some of these remarks and how, generally speaking, they have very little connection to what occurrence they are being used for. At all.

Word(s): Nuked
Definition: To deliver a ludicrous amount of damage onto subject quickly over a short period of time.
Example: "We should nuke Teemo in the next teamfight"
Origins: World of Warcraft
I don't play it anymore but the term Nuked stemmed mainly from playing World of Warcraft and encountering large and difficult PvE mobs or bosses that required focus fire from the entire group. This combined effort of maximum damage output by all members of a party/raid would allow for small windows where phenomenal amounts of damage could be dished out. The useage of damage increasing items and abilities (e.g. Bloodlust) would be used in conjunction with this process.

Word(s): AP POM PYRO
Definition: Mage spells in sequence: Arcane Power + Presence of Mind + Pyroblast
Example: "... and then just come out of the bush and AP POM PYRO him"
Origins: World of Warcraft
Mages in WoW were, for a time, rather dominant at PvP in terms of burst damage. The inclusion of resilience has reduced their effectiveness somewhat and they are now considered one of the most skillful and balanced PvP classes in WoW. However, before the various expansion packs were released, mages could spec a certain way into two of their trees (Arcane and Fire) to specifically unlock the spells Arcane Power, Presence of Mind and Pyroblast. Pyroblast was basically just a huge fireball nuke with something like a 6 second cast time. Arcane Power increased the damage of spells cast by the mage by a flat percentage for a short period of time. Presence of Mind made your next spell cast instant. Combine the three spells in order and you get a fireball hitting for an absolute motherload. Instantly. I imagine it would have been incredibly fun to do this, as demonstrated by the following video. It is a little weird and depending on your taste in music you may find it unbearable to watch. Having a strong tolerance for death metal and a lot of respect for good editing I can say I honestly don't mind it. In some ways it is actually rather artistic.


I believe the idea behind the creation of this guy's videos was to highlight the blatant overpowered-ness of this technique's burst damage in PvP and over-exaggerate the attention given to it. Also sif not be an evil ganking undead motherfucker. HADOOUKEN!!!

Word(s): Two Shotted
Definition: To deliver two hard hitting blows in sequence, killing the opponent
Example: "Lol I just two shotted that dude"
Origins: World of Warcraft
Also from WoW, two shotting mainly came from PvP where certain classes could combine combinations of powerful spells/abilities that would, should the gods of luck grant them favour, both crit an unfortunate player for a large amount. This would result in the opposing player having enough time to realise what was happening, but not enough time to react before they transformed into a corpse. This was considered a hilarious occurrence for the undertaker and extremely displeasing for the victim.

Word(s): Flickshot with a railgun
Definition: To give an opponent the smallest amount of attention possible while delivering enough instant damage to kill them outright
Example: "Should run past him and flickshot him with a railgun"
Origins: Quake 3
While flick-shotting applies to many FPS games (e.g. CS), it is perhaps more resonate in the Quake series for one reason. Bunny-hopping. The desire to move logarithmically faster as time goes on is directly opposed to the objective of the game: killing your opponents. You want to maintain speed, but looking away for any extended period of time will reduce your momentum. However, quickly turning to face your opponent, firing, and turning back during the apex of your jump allows you to keep moving and doing damage. You essentially don't even see your opponent during the proceedure, assuming you are doing it right. It is an incredibly skillful technique involving clever guesstimating, incredibly good hand eye coordination and extreme familiarity with your mouse's sensitivity. I myself have only pulled off a few 'true' flick shots (30-40) in my FPS career that I would consider purely skillful and not just ass. Let's see you do this with a controller:



Word(s): Execute crit for 'amount'
Definition: A melee weapon finishing blow move that exceeds the amount of damage required by a considerable amount
Example: "... while I execute crit this guy for 10 billion"
Origins: World of Warcraft
My word, alot of these examples are from WoW. Just goes to show how that game can affect your brain. Warriors in WoW had a finishing blow move that used to consume all their rage (i.e. damage resource mechanic) into one final fatal blow. A full rage execute was a dangerous situation, something opponents should have been aware of when going to to toe with a warrior. Disarming a fellow warrior when you got within this range was, for example, a viable tactic. A full rage execute that critted on a cloth wearer was ridiculous, sometimes hitting for nearly double the opponents max health. It was for this reason alone that Warrior's Execute was, for a long time, considered the hardest hitting melee ability in the game.

Word(s): Instagibbed
Definition: To shoot/hit someone so hard that they explode into a bloody pile of flesh
Example: "Came around the corner and got instagibbed"
Origins: Unreal Tournament
Pronounced g-i-b (not j-i-b; say gorilla ... now say jorilla. See?), instagibbing actually came from one of my favourite games of all time, the original Unreal Tournament. There used to exist a game mode specifically called 'instagib' where all weapons were replaced with an overpowered version of the shock-rifle which would do 1000 damage per shot. Since you could only have an effective maximum of 349 health/armour points, one shot from this baby and you transformed into a pile of flying flesh and blood. On a low friction, increased game speed server, instagib CTF games became the epitome of teamwork, reflexes and accuracy. Sometimes covering the flag carrier with your own body and soon to be blood spurting limbs was the only way to assist your fellow comrade against the torrent of orange bolts flying your way. It was damn good fun and playable for people of all skill ranges. Unless you are like this guy:



Word(s): Faceroll
Definition: Roll your face across the keyboard to perform skillful execution of abilities
Example: "Xin Zhao is the ultimate faceroll character when it comes to killing a dude"
Origins: Various
It is debateable where, at least for me, this term originated from (WoW, Diablo, fighting games etc.) but a viable alternative to it is 'buttonmash'. Facerolling however requires the individual to apply their face horizontally to the keyboard or controller and smashing or rolling it about. I find circular motions to be the most effective. By doing so, one can press many interesting combinations of buttons that result in epic victories. It is obviously a derogatory term used to describe classes/mechanics that are believed to be utterly skill-less in execution or, in my case, easy enough to play with that you don't even need to think about what you are doing. Because of this ease, you might as well use your face as you clearly don't need eyes to see and you might as well use that massive head of yours for something.

pro skills

Word(s): Focus Attack Dash Cancel (FADC) into Ultra
Definition: Crumple an opponent into a vulnerable state before unleashing on them
Example: "You should Focus Attack the bus driver, Dash to Cancel it and then Ultra him"
Origins: Street Fighter IV
The most recent contribution to this list derived from a moderately complex method of getting your Ultra/Super moves off in SFIV without your opponent blocking/avoiding them. SFIV introduced to the series a focus attack mechanic which you can use to crumple your opponent or absorb damage momentarily, assuming you time it right. You could also use it to cancel moves to skip the animation frames so you could continue into advanced combo attacks (at the cost of super meter). For a beginner, it is an incredibly dexterous and difficult mechanic to execute correctly, especially considering it gives you so many options to chose from if you do. Like Flickshotting, it is one of the actually skillful things a player can do in a game that separates them from the rest.


So next time you hear me say something like "Your face got instagibbed while facerolling" you can now understand that I have not gone completely mad or am not talking in tongues while being possessed by a demon. Rather I am just a confused man replacing more elaborate words with what, in my mind, are more accurate depictions of what is occurring. Also while being possessed by a demon. KABOOM!!!